She announced her abortion via fbk
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
