3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
