You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i out mim tonsoeep
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