I'm really into asian looking animals
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have fence marks all over my body
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize