If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
