If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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