the day after is always just damage control
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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