my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
