thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
