Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
