I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
