I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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