And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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