Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I could fuck to npr.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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