So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
