mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
