What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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