Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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