I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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