i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
