well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
