apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize