So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
