super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We left the knife in your bed.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's shark week go big or go home
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
