and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
