well most of my day revolves around power hour
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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