so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Randomize
