He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
