$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
