I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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