I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We need a shit load of segways right now
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
