My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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