If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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