just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
