Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Blood and glitter go together right?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
