I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
