It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
there was a trapeze. enough said
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
