I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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