i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
