i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
