sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
