According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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