hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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