also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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