A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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