so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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