I'm eating all of the evidence.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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