Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
