i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I understand Curling. That high.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
