you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
