so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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