In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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