I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
