Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
