Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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